Favorite Moments of the Week

I wanted to share a strategy that my wife and I have been doing for the past month or so that seems to be really working for our middle school-aged daughter and our first grade son. It is simple to do, doesn't cost any money and is legal. Interested?

Julie and I had noticed that we were giving a lot more negative feedback to our wonderful children, based on our observations of some of their not so wonderful behaviors. We were spending a lot of time telling them not to do things, almost highlighting their failures, and failing to "accentuate the positive." When we did give them positives, it tended to be about great grades on tests, being picked for something important such as Student of the Week, or when they outperformed their peers and were seen as The Best at something. While these things are all deserving of praise, they are just a small part of what is important to us to promote with our children.

Thanks to my wife (she is the smartest member of our parent team), we have changed this dynamic by implementing on Sunday evenings a time for Julie and I to share our "Favorite Moments of the Week" with each child. Our "Favorite Moments" are based on not just the successes our children achieve (read here TIGER MOM moments) but times when each child learned a new skill, had a new insight about themselves or those around them, or showed ingenuity or resilience when faced with a problem. For example, this past Sunday I shared with Ben how much I loved the fact that he was a good sport during his field day and how much I appreciated how he introduced me to all of his friends when I participated in field day at his school. I also shared with him that I truly admired how he didn't give up when he was reading a challenging book. I told my daughter how proud I was when she allowed her brother to help select the putt putt golf course we played over the weekend, even though it was her time to pick the course of her choice. In addition, I thanked her for playing with Ben and his first grade friends one evening this past week and helping them to have so much fun.

It  has become a routine at our home that all of us look forward to doing. When Sunday rolls around, both Cassie and Ben are making comments like, "Are you going to share your favorite moments tonight?" Like most parents, we struggle with trying to strike the right balance of providing constructive criticism and positive reinforcement. We have found that this strategy ensures we have a dedicated time for positive reinforcement and to recognize those situations where our children are displaying the values we hold dear.

If you have any strategies you use with your children that seem to make a difference, please share them here.